For the last month or so, every time I see a billboard or a magazine or a film or an album cover, I find the same thought running through my head. These people all look the same. I wish there was someone who looked like me. People are varied; we all know this. Some are tall, some short, some round, some sticks, some dark, some light, the list goes on. And our faces are just as varied! Freckles, crooked noses, thick eyebrows, moles, dimples, again, the list is likely pages long. I'll spare you the list (you're welcome) and sum it up like this: people look different. But somehow, celebrities don't seem to. Everyone has a tiny nose, tiny ears, big lips, big eyes, and straight, dark, perfect eyebrows. This makes no sense to me. Surely they should be different! I remember when they were and so do you; it's not like it's hard. If you don't remember, you can watch old movies. Hell, you can watch Sex and the City and see it. The four main characters are all attractive, yes, but they do NOT look the same. And that was only in the 90s!
I know that plastic surgery has been going on for a while. But it seems that we've gotten a lot pickier about the faces we allow on the screen, on the pages of magazines, and even on our musicians. (Name the last unattractive musician you saw get big in the last 10 years.) While Hollywood's matching sets of actors and actresses are talented, yes, I can't help but wonder who we're missing out on because they don't look "right."
And speaking of "right," how many of the faces we love are even that person's natural face? Not many, if you would believe the tabloids. Having spent a few days scouring the internet for before and after pictures, I'm inclined to agree. It seems to be mostly the women who go under the knife, and it's always for the same look - little nose, big lips, big eyes, high cheekbones, pointed chins, etc. I'm wondering when that became The Look. What is it about that face that we like so much? Does it go back to the "humans love baby faces" thing? Big eyes, little noses=cute? It seems weird that we would want our sex symbols to look like babies. Maybe that's just me.
Some people think that it's a case of women wanting to look more like Barbie. Barbie does sort of fit the model - big lips, big eyes, big boobs, little nose and little ears. It seems weird to me that a doll that's been around since 1959 would only now be making such an impact. Surely we would expect it to be more something beginning in, oh, 1969 or so, rather than lying in wait until the 2000s to get dramatic?
It could be that the tabloids are getting in on it, getting so pushy about people's flaws that they try to fix them. And 'flaw' is so subjective - some people think freckles are flaws. I know a lot of people (including myself) who think freckles are awesome and pretty damn attractive. The laws of attraction are so subjective and people's faces are so varied and interesting even and especially when unattractive that I can't understand how the most publicized faces have all started to look the same. Surely actors should want to look more like regular people? They tell their stories, don't they?
Look, I like to look at attractive people as much as anyone else. But I also like the way people look - just people. It's selfish and self-centered, that's true, but I'd like to see 'stars' looking like people, like me, not like society's general idea of perfect. When The Hunger Games came out and people started talking about how gorgeous Jennifer Lawrence is, I remember thinking, Wow - but she has a soft face. Does that count as attractive? It was a huge thought. I have a soft face, have always felt dismayed at it since there was no example of a soft-faced woman considered to be "attractive," and so always assumed that soft faces were not. But because one publicized woman shared a trait with me and was considered attractive, I felt like that meant I was suddenly allowed to be content with that trait. And that realization worried me.
If I feel this way, I have to hope that at least one other person does. And if they do, maybe a few more will, too. There are so many insecurities created and perpetuated by the media - done to the point that even the world's most well-known Beautiful People are cutting their faces and filling themselves with silicone and plastic to try to be more beautiful. No one really looks like this, no one really can without a lot of pain and false parts, and everyone is suffering for it.
So tell me, gentle readers - why do you think we've made this happen?
Music
Two Years Before the Mast - Astronautilus
Dead Weight - Robert Borden
No One - Alicia Keys
Feeling Good - Muse
Run [I'm A Natural Disaster] - Gnarls Barkley
Bulletproof - La Roux
Attractiveness
Barbie/Media: http://commons.pacificu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1075&context=eip
Attractiveness: http://www.viewzone.com/attractivenessx.html
I really think that 'impressionable' young girls and teenagers and young women are subject to the social idea of "beautiful" the most. As you point out, you literally cannot pick up or look at anything where the model is 100% natural. What we perceive to be natural has been altered for hours in a make-up studio, and then for several more hours on the likes of Photoshop. It paves the way for the general increase in self loathing and eating disorders.
ReplyDeleteThe media really do perpetuate how everyone must look to be socially "beautiful". Maybe that's why myself, and so many others are bullied, because we reject that push to be beautiful and "fashionable". It's bad on people like me, and I'm a guy, I'd hate to put myself in a girl's shoes and suffer the same abuse!
I really hope that some day everybody will realise that there is no need to hate your body, just because the latest edition of OK magazine, or Vogue dictates that A, B and C are the only ways to be beautiful. We're human, and that means each and every one of us is unique. But it seems that the growing trend is to be just like everyone else, with no sense of individuality.
Wow what a thoughtful blog entry Briarly! I totally agree. I constantly find myself looking at celebrities to see what traits we share so I can feel okay about my traits. It is really awful! Also what do you mean by a 'soft face'? :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure she means that her feature's are less 'hard', if that makes sense? Like the edges of her eyebrows, nose and what-not are more rounded and less defined? That's my understanding, anyway :)
DeleteThis is such an interesting post and when you questioned about when was there an unattractive artist in the last 10 years, it really got me thinking. It seems that all of the entertainment industries are as interested or more interested in appearance than the actual talent. I think that it is so difficult as well for young girls to feel comfortable in their own skin with magazines publicising these size zero models with flawless complexions.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that's my reaction :)
Check out my blog if you like:
www.and-kate.blogspot.com
Hi Brylarly.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, actually!
If you look at old black and white movies from the 50s- all leading ladies had a similar look. Most were blonde, most were slim but rather 'hourglass', if you will, and sadly almost all were white women. I think we have come a long way since then!
I struggle to think of two leading ladies who look similar to each other today. Take 'Les Mis'' - Anne Hathaway and Amanda Seyfriend look entirely different.
As for 'flaws', perhaps we'll call them quirks because the former is a horrible word - Miley Cyrus has crooked teeth. Taylor Swift is taller than most male singers. Lea Michele has a 'jewish nose'. These women are at the top of their careers right now.
That isn't to say the important of looks within the celebrity world isn't a huge and terrifying thing, but I do not see 'that face'.
:)
Here here!
DeleteCelebrities don't all look the same, they're all attractive in their own way, but there isn't a certain look that they all have!
Like Mila Kunis looks completely different to say Blake Lively, but obviously both are considered attractive.
I've noticed this for a little while now, and it seems really sad to me. I think something like this: Person A looks good, but people generally think person B looks better. So A thinks they've got to try to appeal to those people, and look more like or better than person B. And this spreads and spreads until we get this singular idea of what's attractive, and everyone gets the (incredibly untrue) idea that the single vision is the only good one. And lots of people are too paranoid or afraid to try to look different from that singular idea.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a lot of our obsession with beauty comes from the idea that women are given value and worth based upon how they look. Obviously, this isn't a "clear yes" or "clear no" issue, but from a young age, many girls are taught that their power comes from the way in which they present themselves. I remember in middle and high school always thinking that if I lost a little more weight or my nose didn't point upward as much as it did, people would like me more - that I would like me more. And that translated that into my school, social, and family life. Now that I'm in university, I'm studying this strange culture we live in and trying to work my way out of this type of thinking. But as a person living in society, I can't fully remove myself from the ways I was taught to think of myself and my value. I try not to look at magazines anymore because the language in the text is so toxic to my well being. Now, I try to look at all the parts of me that *I* like, rather than what I want others to like or what others tell me I should like. I have tummy rolls and uneven eyebrows and my neck will always look super weird when i'm laying down, but I look real cute in an owl onesie and that's what matters to me. And that's enough.
ReplyDeleteThere's an article I read in my Womens and Gender Studies class I think you may like. It's called "The Upside of Ugly." Here's the link, if you're interested: http://www.thenation.com/blog/169208/upside-ugly#
Take a look at the uglies series by Scott westerfield. Was quite an eyeopener for me.
ReplyDeleteI had the same reaction. It's been several years since I've read the Uglies series but I honestly think about it almost every day. That world is supposed to be such a futuristic world and it's terrifying how close we are to it in so many different ways.
DeleteIt's funny I actually had the same thought when I saw the latest cover of our TV Guide (Do you actually say that? I just googeld a translation, because I'm from Germany, hm well I hope you know what I mean)I wasn't sure if it really was the new one because it's hard to see the differences between the faces of those women on the cover.
ReplyDeleteI actually spend a lot of time thinking about those Beauty ideals everyone seems to have, I remember that as a kid I was really surprised when somenone called my best Friend beautiful, not that I thought of her as ugly I just wasn't sure what Beauty was. Still today I wonder if we just think of many celebritys as good-looking because they're supposed to be and everybody else seems to think so.
Also I don't know if just I think this way but whenever I'm with my Friends and get this suddenly realization how much I adore them they suddenly look like the most gorgeos people on earth to me.
I definitely agree to an extent...I too found myself clinging to Jennifer Lawrence because somewhere in her face is something resembling me;rounded full soft face and like, eyes that actually fit her face! I do find it promising though that musicians like Adele and Ed Sheeran are extremely popular despite not being 'traditionally' attractive. I just think you have to look for people in the right places. Gary Lightbody, Lena Dunham, Melissa McCarthy, Max Greenfield, Lily Cole etc are all people I love but might not be considered to fit mainstream lines of 'beauty'. I definitely find billboards and tv ads to be especially lacking in terms of average or non traditional beauty types.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really loved this in sight into modern culture. I agree with you that the media is forcing this singular "beautiful" look onto all people, leading many to believe that they have to look that way otherwise their life is incomplete, which in turn causes many impressionable teens (and some young adults) to be depressed and suicidal. Although I love tumblr, sometimes it does encourage this lie the media has been feeding us since mass media (t.v. especially) was created, such as the infamous "thigh gap" that so many are yearning to have, which is completely unrealistic for some body types while it comes naturally to others. So basically, i agree with you. Oh, and the Uglies by Scott Westerfield, most definitely something you should read.
ReplyDeleteI hope you read this.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with what you've said, especially the part about baby faces being cute as that is what is most loved by humans in general. Babies have this innocence about them that people warm up to and so it's only natural that we would react sentimentally to a more developed being such as an adult, with a face of this kind.
I would also like to add however that before watching a majority of films, a lot of people tend not to 'crush' or 'like' an unknown actor/actress to whom someone unfamiliar with them would otherwise find, average or unattractive. However, the roles these actors play may be the key to what we find attractive as we subconsciously aim to copy our heroes. By this, I a saying that somebody who was on TV and loved by millions then becomes 'the face'. (interpret this as you like). Now, this face well-loved face cannot be everywhere at once and so some directors and producers may try to find someone of the same attractive nature, most easily done by finding someone with similar features. If this person also becomes loved by many, then you have the formula to make money. Face X will become the wanted face by all industries and this will be advertised and eventually people become manipulated into thinking that this is what 'beauty' is all about.
I too, am beginning to find this face quite boring, but, in a good way. I now appreciate the uniqueness of mine own. xxx
I find it funny and sweet and beautiful that you wonder why people seem to like and/or force the look of a little nose, big lips, big eyes, high cheekbones, pointed chins etc. I'm afraid ,with a start like this, you might assume my comment is not of value but I'm keeping it. Well women with these facial features are indeed more attractive to the opposite sex. If you wonder why or find this subjective or illogical, scientific researches have proven that women like that are more fertile consequently, more attractive. Your thoughts remind of mine as a child when I couldn't get what beauty is (not that I really do now but I don't see this the way I used to). I think you are a highly thinking person, ergo you're not controlled by instincts as easily, but I might as well be mistaken. Also excuse my English, it's not my mother tongue.
ReplyDeleteBecause I watch so little TV, I only know a few "current" celebrities. But those that I do know, don't really look the same. I guess most of the really "big" hollywood stars seem to be following a formula look-wise, but they're not the only faces in hollywood. There are models who generally have the same physical descriptions, but they're not the only models around. Obviously, there are particular people fitting a particular mold that the greater part of mainstream media paint as attractive or as having the "ideal" face, but if you would look into fandoms (as destructive as they can be) or individual fan groups of the not-typical-hollywood-faced celebrities, there are people in those fandoms who can go on and on about how attractive those people are,even if the greater media doesn't say so.
ReplyDeleteThough I do agree that what the greater media paints as beautiful can have an effect on someone who doesn't fit that mold. Where I'm from, having "milky, white skin" is considered ideal, so much so that there are tons of ads for whitening soaps, whitening lotions, glutathione injections, etc. Even on TV/movies, if they want to paint someone as unattractive, they just "color" them darker (it's almost like blackface, except nobody seems to find that offensive here). I personally have brown skin, like most people in my country, and it took me until my late teenage years, when I first started getting into (international) fandoms, that I started appreciating my looks.
I didn't know anyone else described a face as "soft"! I remember telling my sister that some people have a soft faces and she looked at me like I was crazy. Glad I'm not, or if I am, I've got company. hee.hee. Anyway, fascinating points! Can't say I've recently recognized a more intense push to get "that face", but it does seem that each generation presents a physical ideal to which everyone madly scrambles to conform. Perhaps in this day it's more acute given our ability to entirely reconstruct ourselves through contemporary beauty-science.
ReplyDeleteOh, man, if you have a "soft face" my face must be made of pillows stuffed with marshmallows.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm sure that part of the reason is that society creates an image of the ideal person - and that image is so full of contradictions. The ideal American, for instance, is supposed to represent all Americans, yet it often doesn't. But (most) people don't seem to adamantly care when that image is false. If the image doesn't represent all of us, then it's because you are an outsider and you should strive to become that image.
ReplyDeleteSociety functions when people buy into that ideal image. The more everyday people are concerned about their looks, then they start buying more and more beauty products, having plastic surgery done, or having their eyebrows plucked. I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but the more women (and men - think of all the tv ads for excercise equipment to build "the perfect body") that spend money on these products are buying into and supporting the capitalist system.
The media upholds the image of the perfect human being, and if we buy into it, or even just accept it, letting it exist for others to buy into, we are letting companies, industries, and governments manipulate us just a little bit more. The media takes advantage of our ability to second-guess and judge ourselves, and uses that to sell us products in an effort to make us just a little bit more gullible and a little bit more like contented sheep, believing we're living the dream.
Oh dear. What I just said really sounds like I'm a conspiracy theorist - I'm not, really! I'm just a concerned skeptic, like you. I took a class last semester on pop culture in the Middle East, and saw how people use culture to define themselves and each other. Governments use and promote a certain culture in order to remain in control of the nation, resistance to the government uses culture to redefine the nation as one contrary to the government's image of society, and others use culture to unite all different groups that make up a nation or ethnic group.
Just think about how Taylor Swift is able to bridge the differences among so many different groups of people all around the world? Somehow, she is supposed to represent us all, not just with beauty, but with her music, her interviews, her sponsors, and how she manipulates that image.
(Sorry for writing such a long-winded comment!)
That is a well thought out and written post, though I think that Hollywood has always had a 'look'. It changes over time, but there is always an 'in look'. You are right though, it is worse than ever now that plastic surgery is so much more successful than in the past.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm not into girls that fit the Hollywood ideal, or anybody else's ideal for that matter. For me I see a personality as an important part of a person's appearance. As far as I'm concerned they're not separate, a person's personality is part of their face. Beyond that I've had a thing for freckles my entire life, as in way back to before kindergarten. In fact, many years ago I started a facebook group for the appreciation of freckles. Then at some point Facebook changed the way groups worked and all the members got turfed out of it, but it is still there living a lonely existence in some corner of Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/groups/51279387619/?ref=ts&fref=ts
And for what it is worth, you're really quite attractive. Charlie is a lucky guy.
I wrote a response to this that's too long to fit on here because a) I'm a world-class champion rambler and b) I've always been really interested in social constructions and talking about them so I tend to get carried away once I get started. I also love knowing there are other people out there wondering about these things and questioning this stuff because that's what's going to make it easier to change the way we react to what we're told is ideal or beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to read my full response, this is the link:
http://rebelfell.tumblr.com/post/39925985777/bryarly-why-that-face
Your Hunger Games comment was interesting, considering that the entire series scorned the Capitol as an example of thousands of individuals trying to assimilate to one image -- so much so, in fact, that the series portrayed this social trait as alien and inhuman. I've noticed that British television tends to have more diverse images for their actors; perhaps that's because Britain is much smaller than America and therefore has a smaller pool of actors to choose from.
ReplyDeleteIt's discouraging to grow up thinking there is one single standard for beauty. It eliminates diversity and encourages segregation and bullying.
I hope this is not to late, long or/and boring...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I have to say I definitely see your point, but most of the time I like to think that there are different sides to an essue, so here is another side.
Certainly what most people want is for other people to like them and beauty is among the easiest ways to get that to happen. What I think celebrityes are trying to do by getting themselves to fit certain patterns isn’t raising the bar for the rest of us but getting liked by everybody who is watching them.
People raise bars on us all the time, for instance, you might have raised it in cuteness, wittyness, musical talent and a few more. That doesnt mean that someone should blame you when they are not as good in these aspects, but should accept themselves the way they are with their qualityes and flaws. Also it is their right to aspire to whatever qualityes they like and strive to achieve them.
Every culture has its own ideal of beauty and some of these ideals require painful procedures (like wearing wooden shoes from an early age to get the feet growing a certain way or wearing metal rings around the neck to get it to grow longer etc.) which people submit to just to fit in, to be liked, to be accepted. Or, I am thinking at the women in the past who would wear the really tight corsets to get the tiny waist that certainly wasnt so pleasant. The point is, beauty patterns is not a matter of here and now but it is certaily a more powerful thing with all the media arround these days.
I have features that I hate about myself but then I hate myself more for not being able to focus on the things I should be grateful for.
(now I have to go and give myself a pat on the back for posting an opinion on the internet for the very first time; #proud)
I don't know how or when beauty ideals changed but I feel like Youtube is the anecdote because there is a larger variety in types of people and more "normal" looking people. I wouldn't call her ugly but she does not meet the Hollywood definition of beautiful-Lena Dunham. She is trying to change the media's perception of what is beautiful and that an average woman's identity is not based on her weight. Lena Dunham is very successful having done 2 feature films, a television show on HBO and a book deal with Random House, she addressing the media's ideals of beauty. Lena began by making Youtube videos.
ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna call him unattractive - but Ed Sheeran isn't exactly you're "pin-up popstar" and he's after getting pretty big in the industry :)
ReplyDeleteyour*
ReplyDeleteIt sort of depends on what your definition of celebrity is, the tabloids are most obsessed with the Hollywood stars, they get the most money and the most publicity. I do think that it’s more of a problem with American celebrities than British ones, though. But I mean, anyone who is 'famous for being famous' sort of has to be good looking in our culture, and I think that's to be expected.
ReplyDeleteI can think of a ton of English celebrities like Adele, Ed Sheeran, Stephen Fry, Matt Smith; and also some maybe (?) lesser known ones like Dawn French, Clare Balding, Anne Robinson, Katherine Tate. Actually thinking about it I can also think of a few not-conventionally-attractive American celebrities too; Whoopi Goldberg, Lady Gaga, etc.
I'm not saying I think any of those people are unattractive at all, just that I feel they don't fit every single conventional attractiveness rule; the whole big lips/big eyes/small nose/thin/tan-but-not-too-tan/etc/etc.
I tried to leave male celebrities out as much as possible because I feel like it’s so much easier to be an unattractive or older male celebrity. Which is kind of shitty.
I was flipping through my old diaries the other day and I noticed one sentence which read: "I have stretchmarks. But Victoria Beckham has stretchmarks too, so it's all right."
ReplyDeleteHi Bryarly,
ReplyDeleteOn YouTube, check out GirlWritesWhat?'s video on Neoteny. Her stuff in general is interesting and worthwhile.
I've noticed this as well, and I also think it's problematic. My solution has been to watch more TV shows from other countries, like Britain or Australia, as these shows tend to have actors and actresses who look more like real, diverse people.
ReplyDelete